We had to leave Union Square after only six minutes of watching the Fifth Annual World's Most Exciting Pillowfight.
At our advanced age, we were afraid our heart couldn't stand the strain of so much excitement and so many Spider-Man pillows.
As everyone on the planet knows, today millions of cool people around the globe met in scores of cities to bash each other around the head with pillows.
In New York, the largest and most exciting of these events was sponsored by Filene's Basement, whose shopping bags were alarmingly present as people made their way to the center of the park.
Filene's upper floors - we learned today that "Basement" is a misnomer - served as "box seats" for the upper crust among pillow-fight spectators.
We suspect other people may be posting photos of this thrilling event, too.
The excitement made us a bit faint, so we had to turn our back to the great foam battle and settled for the calming view of those engaged in watching the exhilarating action.
Breaking the rules, some rather unsportsmanlike types used feather pillows, causing the spectators to go into even more of a frenzy.
We can only admire the energy and determination of the participants and their commitment to a noble effort.
A surprisingly large number of people bearing pillows were still arriving five minutes after the action had begun. Most of them were NYU students.
Ambulances and paramedics were on hand standing by on 14th Street to treat those of us in the audience who were overcome with excess stimulation after witnessing the pillow fight.
We refused medical attention, however - we were too embarrassed to tell the EMT we had acute angina - and made it home on the L train in ten minutes, eager for our Inderal.
After seeing that mammoth pillow flight, our blood pressure soared to 120/70, and we're ready to lie our weary head down on our own two hypoallergenic pillows to rest up from viewing such an electrifiying event.
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